Randal Kenneth Watters Passed Away

May 15

Randal Kenneth Watters passed away earlier this year. He was one of the earliest internet pioneers in helping people be free of manipulation and assisting them to think for themselves. His legacy should never be forgotten.

Video of Randy

Randal Kenneth Watters High School Picture

Randy was born in northern New York; he became a Jehovah’s Witness in 1972, then a pioneer, and served where the need was great. He went on to Bethel and worked in the Press Room at the factory, 117 Adams Street, Brooklyn, New York. Due to his skills and aptitude, he became an overseer over the floor and shortly thereafter a “Bethel Elder.” In those days, a Bethel Elder was a type of elite class of foremost elders. I was at Bethel from ‘77-79 and knew Randy, but we were not close friends, as I was just a lowly inky. I worked making ink in the ink room. After I left, later in 1980, Randy, along with Ray Franz, became part of a group of insiders at Bethel questioning several of the doctrinal issues of leadership. The ones in charge started a witch hunt to find those that were having Bible Study groups and discussions. They started expelling them. Randy along with Franz got out before being caught. They left as JWs in good standing. Franz, while resigning as a GB member, got a nice $10,000 check to help him have a fresh start in Georgia. This proves he was not expelled or considered a threat when he left. Randy went to Oklahoma with an elder recommendation to serve where the need was great. It was not long thereafter that he resigned and started his lifelong work of helping others find truth.

Randy became a pastor for a time and led others in Bible Study. He loved to help people learn and find truth.

Randy later moved to Manhatten Beach in California, shared a condo on the beach with several other guys. There, he could walk out his door and surf, enjoy the sun, and run his organization called freeminds.org. I visited with Randy early on in my work. He was supportive of Silentlmbs.org from the beginning in 2001. There were times when I was down to my last dollar; Randy would send some money to support Silentlambs.

Freeminds was a huge website for education as well as the sale of JWorg publications. He provided news of the latest JWorg actions, as well as worked with many to help current and former JWs free their minds from cult mind control. He was a good friend with Dr. Steve Hassan and often did seminars with him. I assisted with a couple.

When I visited with Randy a few times in Manhattan Beach, I was stunned by his sparse accommodations in comparison with the huge work he was accomplishing. He had a small space off from the kitchen that did not even have a door. There was just a double bed and a desk for computer and several boxes of books. Yet these humble beginnings for thirty years helped thousands of people find freedom. I thought to myself, “You’re still living like a Bethelite!” Yet his simplicity enabled his staying power in helping others. Randy never married and what money he did make went toward retirement someday. He was so proud of his 69 Mustang. Later in life an xjw took advantge of him financially and he was devastated.

We talked often; Randy had a difficult struggle with Crohn’s disease and terrible back issues. Treatment drained him financially of what was left. Eventually the man who owned his place of residence for forty years decided to sell. Randy was evicted with a 90 day notice. He tried to find a place to land, I invited him to stay with me, but he had some friends in Texas and he chose to go that direction. Unfortunately, this was a continuation of a downhill slide into perscription pain killers. I reached out to long-time friends to try to get him into a better place, but every time something was put together, Randy refused. I believe it was the onset of dementia. My last contact with Randy was two years ago. I offered to drive to Texas and move him back home to Arkansas to be with his family. At first he agreed but backed out. As I understand it, it was one of many offers of assistance that he refused.

I am sure his last months were egregious, but in one sense he lived his life on his own terms. In my opinion, Randy Watters was a great man who sacrificed his entire life in service to others. He truly helped tens of thousands of people to find freedom and he should be honored as a humble man who gave his best in service to the betterment of mankind. If ever a person deserved a golden statue, it would be Randy Watters; yet I am sure he would prefer just a simple marker to acknowledge the so many he kindly assisted.

Randy, I know you are finally at peace, and I am proud to say that you were my friend. If there is a heaven you are surely looking down with a chuckle as you see this commentary. Thank you for your love, your work, and your willingness to stand for truth and help others.

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Randy’s Story as told by Him

Written by Randall Watters

Thursday, 13 December 2012 09:39

I was conceived in New York City by design. My mother and father, Joy and Ken Watters, decided that having a 6 year-old beautiful little girl was not enough; they needed a boy. As my parents later told me, it was to help hold the family together. My mother prayed so hard that she told the Lord if she had a boy, she would give him to the Lord, like Samuel of Bible times (1 Sam. 1:11). This act of faith was destined to color the outcome of my life as you will see. I was born in Oklahoma City in 1952.

I prayed as long as I can remember. Being brought up Baptist, I really didn’t like church at all, but was interested in God. When the Billy Graham Crusade came into town when I was about 9 years old, we went.

When the call came to “come down and give your life to the Lord,” I was strongly moved to go. I have never regretted that decision.

Nevertheless, I still couldn’t stand going to church. It all seemed such a strange departure from ordinary life. The last church I went to in my youth was the Garden Grove Community Church in So. Calif., as my mother worked as one of Dr. Robert Schuller’s secretaries. Although his church is now more famously known as the Crystal Cathedral (and in desperate financial condition), back then it was the first and only only drive-in church in the world, converted from an outdoor movie drive-in, with car speakers and all. That was just too much for me, even as a Cali boy. It was part of the polyester world of Orange County, California. I grew up next to Disneyland and Knotts Berry Farm. Fireworks from Disneyland lit up our backyard every night in the summer.

Just a Country Boy

I “broke out” in my junior year of high school, finally becoming proud of being me. Although we lived in a rural area, we had lots of kids my age and we were vandals and did crazy things, like holding a shopping cart next to the car, accelerating to 40 mph and letting it go down the street or into a trash bin. I got drunk at 12 in Ensenada with a buddy on a surf trip for his older brother. My vices started early! In high school I used LSD and hashish, and went out with the guys drinking beer on weekends. Yet I was able to be a near straight A student all the way up to my Senior year, when I then refused to do homework and got by on Bs and Cs, but of course I passed and never wanted to see a school again.

I worked with my dad in a Ford agency and rode all kinds of hopped-up cars, ending up with two exhibition of speed tickets from street racing. I always had two cars: a good one and a beater that I would pick up from the wholesalers for $50 and just beat the crap out of it in the of acres of Irvine property that was seldom policed.

I double-dated in high school for my whole senior year with another couple was a stus symbol. Gayla was my second girlfriend, having dated a much “wilder” girl in my Junior year in Las Vegas. Being typical Okies, we loved the country and my dad bought a small farm when I was in my teens. We raised all kinds of animals, including horses, dogs, cats, chickens, a raccoon, a goat, rabbits, snakes, quail, and much more. I also had guns and went hunting with my dad on occasion. The horse was later replaced by a motorcycle to terrorize the hundred miles of dirt roads behind our house. I could forget about church… this WAS my church.

By the time I was out of school, I moved down to Newport Beach with the hippie crowd, and my hippie girlfriend moved into an apartment on the beach that I shared with two long-time buddies. Renee was her name, and Edgar Cayce was her invisible guru. She was reading books by the Rosicrucians, and got me interested in it as well. This was 1971, and Russia was the big nuclear threat of annihilation, so I wanted to be on God’s side should I leave this earth! My Insecurities Led Me to the Witnesses One day I visited my folks and found a little blue book called the “Truth That Leads To Eternal Life” in the drawer that my mom had bought from the Jehovah’s Witnesses just to get rid of them.

I quickly read it and showed it to Renee, who also showed interest. It seemed to have all the answers, which the churches didn’t. So we actually looked up a Kingdom Hall nearby and asked someone to study with us! Renee soon moved to Florida and became a JW. We even got our families to join! I was always looking for a sign from God. So this next one got me in trouble. I was sitting in the den, reading the “Truth” book. I just had so many reservations, so I said to the Lord silently, “If this book is true, let that cat (who was standing in the doorway disdainfully looking at me)… and before I could complete MY THOUGHT the cat jumped up into my lap, fulfilling the wish and scaring the HELL out of me! I decided it was too weird to be a sign from God, but I became a Jehovah’s Witness anyway.

I was hooked. This happened in Canoga Park in 1972, a year before all JWs were to give up smoking or be disfellowshipped. I smoked a pack a day and tried everything to quit, without success. I realized that I LIKED smoking, and that was my problem! So one day I was sitting in the driveway and just started crying, because I could not quit. I put my heart in the Lord’s care, as I gave up trying. I couldn’t even ask for a miracle. I got one, however! The next morning I woke up and didn’t grab for a cigarette. I DIDN’T WANT ONE. What?? This was too weird. This happens to NOBODY (none that I ever heard of). The Lord actually TOOK AWAY THE DESIRE to smoke, and to this day I haven’t had the desire at all and haven’t smoked once either.

Renee moved back to Florida and got busy in the "truth." I proceeded to study with my mother, sister, and brother-in-law and converted them to the Witnesses around 1973. Renee got her mother, sister and brother-in-law baptized, too! My dad let us do what we wanted, but he knew better than to get into it. Renee wanted to get married, but it was so close to 1975 and I had to do all I could to save others!

I got baptized in 1972 at an assembly and soon was appointed as magazine servant in the Canoga Park Kingdom Hall, where I lived at that time. By 1974 I was a card-carrying TRUE BELIEVER in the WT as being the only true religion, and all others would be destroyed soon at Armageddon. I used to take camping trips up north and leave “Truth” books all over the place, even hiding them under rocks and in strange places for people to find. I canvassed Los Angeles Airport on several occasions and gave away hundreds of magazines in one hour.

But this was not enough. I loved the high of being so “in control” in my life that I wanted to have more responsibility. I took a trip up the California coast in 1974 to ascertain where I could pioneer where the need was greater. I found one congregation in San Luis Obispo that had only a couple of pioneers, yet had a whole town of 30,000 to cover, of which 15,000 were students. I went out 6-7 days a week and knocked on almost every door in San Luis Obispo in only six months, and I ended up with six “Bible studies” that got baptized from my efforts.

The Crazy Pioneer

In late 1974 there was a Kingdom Ministry that sent out a call for Bethel volunteers to serve a minimum of 4 years in the Big House for $14 a month. Now, this was a real test for me. I hated big cities, and was scared to death of New York City, especially the cold and hot extremes of weather. (California boy here!) Not to mention that back then New York had about the worst crime rate in the nation. (Nowadays that is probably Compton, about 7 miles from where I now live!)

I went door-to-door with the pioneers, often doing unworked territory in Topanga Canyon where all the hippies lived, and locked apartments that we conspired to sneak into. We developed sneaking into locked apartment complexes as an art! We even blitzed the Los Angeles Airport inside lounges on occasions, handing out free backissues of the Watchtower. It wasn’t too long before I asked my dad if I could work part-time at my job at Valley Park Ford as a tune-up man, and he set it up so I could work 3 days a week while I pioneered. My pioneer partners and I would put in 140 hours a month like it was nothing. We even worked Charles Manson territory! I "special pioneered" for about a year and a half... the last six months before I signed up for Bethel was spent in in San Luis Obispo, Ca. where I baptised 6 locals before heading off to Brooklyn Bethel in 1974. I was a ministerial servant.

Let’s Go To Bethel

TIME IS SHORT! I felt that the world of people was about to destroy itself, with the fear of world events that seems to draw so many into the JWs and other cults. We all want to live in a secure family, and some of us prefer to lose our identity in something much larger than life. It does wonders for any insecurities!

Fortunately for me, one of the elders in the San Luis Obispo congregation had recently returned from Bethel, and told me all about it. All the fights, the smoking, the crime, and the idiosyncrasies of the old men who lived there. For that reason it was no surprise to see these things when I got there in November of 1974. I came in with a class of over 100 “new boys,” all of whom signed away their personal lives for at least 4 years (by the end of the first year over 50% of them had left prematurely, with a black mark on their record). One fellow who joined me from Hawaii en route to New York on the plane was a young man named Dennis, who after his first year, was caught visiting the brothels of 42nd Street Manhattan and was disfellowshipped and sent back to Hawaii. The next day President Nathan Knorr “had him for breakfast” in front of 2000 fellow Bethelites, outlining at the morning text discussion exactly what Dennis had done. Within an hour, half of the Witnesses in Hawaii knew what Dennis had done and no doubt it left him near-suicidal. This was common treatment for anyone who dared to embarrass Knorr and his New World Society. I knew that would never happen to me! I would rather be DEAD.

New Responsibilities

Out of the 100 brothers who came to Bethel in my class, only two were assigned to the pressroom, where books and Bibles were printed. Myself and Lewis Williamson. Lewis was from a holler in Kentucky and because of my okie background we became close buds. We even took out across the country in a car for summer vacation one year, visiting his family and friends and seeing much of the United States. We camped in Yosemite National Park with my nephew Kenny, and I would love to scare Lewis with bear stories. He carried a big stick with him the whole hiking trip!

Lewis and I both ended up working on the big MAN web presses that printed all their Bibles as well as anything on the fancy Bible paper (which is really the same paper used to roll cigarettes). There was no air conditioning in the factory, and we would run those big presses in the summer with 100 degrees outside and 110 degrees inside, sweating our butts off and breathing the heavy ink that the presses spewed out constantly. For my first year of Bethel I had a constant sore throat just from all the ink in my lungs! But we both became press operators in less than a year. I was also the only one in my group that I know of that got assigned to room with a Bethel “heavy,” Milan Miller, who traveled around the world setting up the MAN presses, which were worth about a half million apiece at the time.

In addition to sharing a great room in the 117 Columbia Heights building. I learned a lot about the Society from Milan, a kind little man that I respected a lot. The rest of the new boys got assigned to live with up to 3 or 4 others in the Towers Hotel, which had been newly purchased and renovated for housing. Try sleeping with 4 others in one open room, who come in from their congregation meetings at all hours of the night, and many of them were fond to drink! Not fun. But I had lucked out.

Every new boy is assigned to a Bethel table and is expected to show up at least every morning for breakfast and the daily text discussion with Knorr or Franz or some other Bethel overseer. Four on each side of a long table, with a table head on one end and a table “foot” on the other. The table head was a Bethel Elder (a step above a regular elder, more on that later), and the foot was usually the same or a regular elder who could take over if the table head was missing. Food was passed from one side and if you were #10 you may not get too much to eat! Most all the food was grown on several farms the Watchtower owned in the New England area, including livestock, fruit and vegetables. That’s how we could live on $14 a month. It was virtually a commune.

At my table, we had one of only two single sisters that I knew at Bethel. She was Judy Martin, and as far as I know she is still at Bethel, as I see her picture in some of the publications to this day. I grew to love this girl secretly, but didn’t tell her for a long time. When I finally did, she was not at all interested. I was crushed. But I was lucky it didn’t work out, for she never would have left the Watchtower. I kept myself out of trouble, not an easy thing for a young man living in New York City “surrounded by Satan.” (When I first arrived at Bethel I went up to the tower top at 124 Columbia Heights and looked around all of Manhattan, saying to myself, “This is the only safe place in New York City!”)By my third year at Bethel I was really enjoying it and determined to make Bethel a life career. Although my desire to marry Judy, the single Bethel sister, did not work out, I would just stay and be single if I had to. I did not like the grind of life on the outside. I could never see myself working a 9-5 job (still can’t after 30 years), having a family and settling down. I was a March hare, full of energy and the desire to be the best in my field, what ever that was.

For some reason, I was put in the position to advance quickly in the organization. Like many Bethelites, I had already been appointed as a ministerial servant. I was assigned to a congregation that had 7 elders, yet they wanted me to be the 8th. I was assigned to the pressroom instead of more menial chores, and learned to run a large rotary printing press in several months time. I was assigned as a roommate to an older Bethelite (Milan Miller) who was quite knowledgeable and set up printing presses all over the world. I made good friends right away, and gained the favor of all my overseers. My tormented youth became a distant memory—I was leading a new life… finally!

Misguided as I was by a bunch of cranky old men in high positions, I was blissful in my ignorance. I was a true believer . To me, Jehovah was in charge of this organization, and I was responsible for the authority he gave me. I would turn in anyone who talked apostasy! Yet at the same time, mostly due to my crazy youth, I could be as wild as any other Bethelite. My friends and I regularly made beer runs to New Jersey to save money. I usually had a case of beer in my closet. (Not that we had much time to drink it!) But I enjoyed life there in spite of the unbearable heat in the summer and the freezing cold in the winter in Brooklyn.

Some Bethelites are loners. They spend most of their time reading, preparing, rehearsing. I, on the other hand, did not. Nearly two years of pioneering meant I could talk to a large crowd with ease. I had no fear of people or opposition. So it took me 3 years to go from SR (self-righteous) to BA (bad attitude). Bethel categories, cool vs. geek. You become a BA when you get your own room and a good roommate, and quit busting a nut to get ahead. This “Jack” was not a dull boy! I owed most of my “corruption” to the boys in the pressroom, who were the rowdiest bunch I knew at Bethel. Hard, physical, sweaty work requires having some fun when you can grab it.

My luxury was a slice of pizza and a beer once or twice a week, and hanging out with your buds in your room or out in the congo to which you were assigned. Weddings were especially fun (at least among the black brothers and sisters) and that is where the sisters taught me to dance to the Bee Gees. Yet I still managed to be diligent in all my responsibilities. I was a workaholic then, and I still am.

In my 1st three years at Bethel I became aware of the moral shortfallings of many a Bethelite, from smoking to swearing, racial fights and so forth. Some managed to avoid going to meetings at all! Their parents had shipped them off to Bethel like it was the military or something, a last chance to straighten them out. Bethel broke you: you either made the grade or ended up a nut job. A few even took the suicide route, it was so traumatic. Waking up early to bells, few females, 20 minutes to eat, often no dinner, not to mention living in New York City. I knew one guy that chickened out after the taxi ride from the airport to Bethel!

What I was at first clueless about (as most Bethelites) was the great disparity between personal opinions on matters of belief, and official doctrine. Back in the 70s, it was a rite of passage to be an elder who had been there for several years and having your own view of, say, the 144,000 or 1914 or some other prophetic date. Someone like Fred Rusk (teacher) or Fred Franz (whacked theologian) took great pride in confiding their personal opinions to a few select Bethelites, just for shock value. It was like saying, “They don’t control my mind.” In the case of a few, they didn’t. Example?

One week Daniel Sydlik (GB) came out to the family ands said that it was appropriate to be dressed up like you were going to a meeting when you come to the table (at least a tie). That went over like a lead balloon, and the rebellion was met by none other than Fred Franz, who came to breakfast all next week in an old white T-shirt that said, “Where in the hell is McCook, Nebraska?” There was no controlling him. We thought that was so rad. Freddy was idolized by many. To me he was like an old Baptist preacher with a dry sense of humor, but more than ten minutes of listening to him drove you up a wall. In some ways it was like living in an old folks’ home. Brother Maxwell Friend liked to feed the pigeons (a no-no in NYC), and brother Suiter (GB) used the breakfast podium to lash out at him without mentioning names, “Those who feed the pigeons are not our f riend s. ” Plus there was no shortage of unintended humor, with George Gangas (GB) thanking Jehovah for his shoelaces and Karl Klein (GB) giving a lecture in his prayers. I felt like a Catholic schoolgirl with the old nuns!

The boys who lived at 34 Orange St. were infrequently busted for loud music and beer parties. To be one of the dozen or so that lived in a nearby brownstone apt. (owned by the Society) was sheer independence and was in a class of cool in its own right. But they usually didn’t stay at Bethel very long.

After a year or so I lucked out and bid on a very choice penthouse apartment at the corner of the 107 Columbia Heights building, a piece of luck only made available because the Towers Hotel had just opened up and all the older guys with seniority were bidding on the rooms. As you can see from the picture, taken from my room, I could see from the Statue of Liberty all the way across the Manhattan skyline, including the Brooklyn and Manhattan bridges, from the 10th floor! A view like that was worth millions, and I made $14 a month.

Brooke and Harley Miller lived next door to me. Harley was a heavy in the Service Dept. and was always on the hall phone. Why they were too cheap to put a phone in his room I’ll never know. His wife was almost never seen; she was one of the lucky wives of valuable Bethelites that Knorr turned a blind eye to when they didn’t participate in any “theocratic” activities. She lived in her bathrobe!

I later learned (at breakfast, of course) that two guys down the hall were having a gay old time with their buddies, but like most Bethelites, I had never met a gay person and thanks to Knorr and his frequent homophobic rantings, I recoiled in horror at all guys on the streets who wore blue jeans and tennis shoes (Knorr’s earmark of being gay, which included almost everyone on the streets!).

I once remember one poor fellow who ran up to the door attendant in my building and cried out that he had just been raped. How can a guy be raped? It was deeply troubling. We were taught that males should not touch other males, and most sisters as well. Knorr was so well-balanced. I like Ray Franz much better—he gave the wedding talk for one of my best friends, Ron McGee. Ron was cool; he married a crazy black girl.

But alas, not all was light-hearted and fun. Serious matters were afoot! Never a dull moment in God’s household.

Skeletons In the Closet

Some were reading their Bible too much. Now as a Bethelite, we all had to read the New World Translation all the way through, and I had read it three times as well as the Living Bible. But some Witnesses questioned their dating system, notably their "Gentile Times" calculations. The trouble began when a handful of brothers were commissioned to write the book Aid To Bible Understanding. In researching their chronological dating system for the "last days," historical research overwhelmingly indicated that their precious date of 1914 (supposedly the invisible return of Christ) was nothing more than the start of World War I. My overseer, Tom Cabeen, began to share this with me, a little each day in a hushed tone behind the printing presses. It was intriguing but dangerous! According to all historical records, Jerusalem was destroyed in 587-586 BC, a full 20 years later than the Witness date. Neither was there found any basis in the Bible for a 2520-year "Gentile Times." Russell's dates and concepts had been constructed with inaccurate history.

Each day I would tell Tom, “Okay, that’s enough for today.” I had to go down in the Bethel library and do my own research on the dates, the identity of the “great crowd,” and more. I had to prove it for myself, and the history of their flip-flops and miscalculations were quite obvious. I researched speed-wise through every bound volume of The Watchtower, in their own Gilead library, from 1879 to 1979 on certain subjects. I typed my findings up and kept them as notes. I eventually became bold enough to share it with my new roommate, Robert Sullivan (still one of my roommates after 28 years) and he was shocked as well. The most obvious conclusion that one did not expect was that all these doctrinal inventions and changes were for one purpose: to control the masses. If you have ever wondered why I focus on mind control so much, here is the answer. It was the first and most obvious thing I noticed in reading their literature—how to control what you think. The actual doctrines were really irrelevant, it was how clever you are in convincing others. That is why to this day I have never engaged in debates with pro-Watchtower apologists—they have learned from their masters how to wear you out with absurd and tedious arguments, and people miss the forest for the trees in the process. Yet even the card sharks on the street were more clever (they could master optical illusions as well). The NY streets teach you a lot of things. One finding stands out:

The choosing of another class of Christians, those who would live on the earth but not be born again or anointed by the Holy Spirit, was based on this pivotal date of 1914. Counting ahead to the year 1935, President Joseph Rutherford was looking for an explanation as to why there were so many coming into the organization, while Rutherford believed the Bible spoke of only 144,000 going to heaven and ruling with Christ. He began searching the book of Revelation for some kind of answer, and Rev. 7:13-17 was seized upon. This was providential, as it also seemed to solve another of their big problems—how to gain more control over the local congregations. Up to this time, congregation overseers (called elders) had been elected into office, and many had full control of their congregations, much to the dismay of Rutherford. Now, a two-fold interpretation of this passage would "kill two birds with one stone." First, the "elders" of verse 13 were identified as these special 144,000 (represented by the Board of Directors), and not the congregational overseers. Thus, the term "elder" was dropped, and all of the congregational overseers lost their positions of responsibility. Those reappointed would now be called by a new name, "company servants." That meant that many previous "elders" were not reappointed to office, and Rutherford assumed complete control over who would be leaders. Many of the former "elders" became disgusted and left the organization. —The Critical Years 1975-1997, R. Watters

Knorr and Franz

Nathan Knorr was not a very likeable person—gruff and cold, he had a love/hate relationship with members of the Bethel family. He never really trusted the young brothers, even instituting working on Saturdays a half-day just to insure the Bethelites did not have enough time to take a weekend vacation. Gilead missionary students were at times denied return air or boat fare back if they could not complete their assignments, resulting in at least two suicides borne from despair.

In 1975 several key “yes men” were called into Bethel from their various responsibilities around the world, such as branch and zone overseers, to become part of a “Governing Body,” a new arrangement that was an attempt at becoming more Biblical, with more than one person making theological decisions regarding the masses. Now they could all vote on what would become “the truth” in future days!

Knorr and his resident seer, Fred Franz, did not support this new idea of diluting the power base with such “new boys.” At the Spring 1975 Gilead graduation class in Queens, NY, Franz gave a scathing talk on why he and Knorr were opposed to such an arrangement, a rare and candid moment to say the least. 2000 of us listened to this rant. Yet the new Governing Body came to pass, and Knorr died shortly thereafter, a broken man who began to cry often and soon lost his senses altogether. Franz was elected 4th President, but the GB had other things in mind for him, as he was later isolated in his last days and moved out of Bethel altogether. The Governing Body were itching to get their hands on power. This was even vocalized on more than one occasion by the soon-to-become 5th president, Milton Henschel. “What power [does the Governing Body have]?” he once said during a Bethel elders meeting that made my hair stand up. “I haven’t seen any power!” Yikes!

By 1979, the archeological dating errors became known to several in the Spanish JW community in NYC, and it got back to the GB around Memorial time in 1980. Those who "talked" were dragged before special committees set up after hours in isolated parts of the factory at 117 Adams Street. I remember that very day; Cabeen told me that Cris Sanchez was being interrogated in a closed session. Cris and Norma, the most humble people you can imagine, had aided in translating the New World Translation from English to Spanish, and had lived happily at Bethel for many years. Suddenly they were accused of "conspiring against the organization" and were called names before the others present, even by GB member Dan Sydlik. Denounced as leeches, a cancer, and worms, they were given a few hours to pack up their belongings under total silence and leave the headquarters—they were now disfellowshipped. They appealed their disfellowshipping but the appeal was denied immediately.

Others were implicated and disfellowshipped as well, such as fellow translators Nestor Kuilan and his wife, as well as Rene Vazquez. The local elders who at first believed the testimony of these ones were later exonerated by reporting them to the Service Department. Members of the Bethel family were generally in the dark about the whole thing, and most remain so to this day, believing simply the explanations that are offered by the GB that it was a planned conspiracy against Jehovah's organization, and that these men and women were apostates and "spiritual fornicators," being "mentally-diseased" and "corrupt." The witch hunt was on.

Paranoia Reigns

"If some tinge of doubt about Jehovah, his Word, or his organization has begun to linger in your heart, take quick steps to eliminate it before it festers into something that could destroy your faith...do not hesitate to ask for help from loving overseers in the congregation. They will help you trace the source of your doubts, which may be due to pride or some wrong thinking.

...act quickly to rout out of the mind any tendency to complain, to be dissatisfied with the way things are done in the congregation. Cut off anything that feeds such doubts." —Watchtower, 2/1/96, p. 23-24

Naturally, many in the Bethel family were concerned and wept at the breakfast table when they heard what had happened with the Spanish brothers. I could see my chest heaving in panic, hoping others at my table did not notice that their table head was freaking out.

How could they do this?? Meantime, the Service Department was busy rounding up any evidence they could in order to disfellowship Raymond Franz, as they felt he and Edward Dunlap were conspiring against the organization. Lee Waters of the Service Department even made the statement that "They (the ‘apostates’) had been building a platform [upon which to attack] for many years." Yet there was no conspiracy, no plans, an no one wanted to leave Bethel or seize power! While Lyman Swingle (GB) stood up for Ray Franz and prevented him from being disfellowshipped at that time, Franz was spied upon and later disfellowshipped for eating a meal with his boss, a former Witness (see Time Magazineof Feb. 22, 1982, p. 66). Edward Dunlap was disfellowshipped after members of the GB pleaded with him to ignore the facts and maintain their present understanding for the sake of unity. THEY WERE THE CONSPIRATORS. THEY WANTED TO RETAIN THEIR POWER OVER THE MASSES. Very obvious!

Dozens more left the Bethel family or were disfellowshipped in the months to come, as they apparently "knew too much." We worms kept a low profile while every day we had to listen to the various GB members, like the bootlickers they were, made continual denouncements of the ‘wicked.’ I became ashamed of the GB forevermore.

Dozens of members of the Bethel family who had been attending clandestine Bible studies every Monday night after the family Watchtower Study had to be very careful. The letters of Paul to the Romans and Galatians were of particular fascination to us, as they pointed to a much better and superior understanding of life and a relationship with Christ than the Witnesses were allowed to enjoy. I joined one of these secret studies, and we carried Watchtowers to the hideout, just in case a "spy" knocked at the door!

At this point, you are probably asking, “So what was the big secret you were learning about from the Bible?”

Randy walking with Albert Schroeder circa 1986 unwittingly

Schroeder's "Salvation by Law"

GB member Albert Schroeder, during a meeting of the elders of the Bethel family on May 29, 1980 (referring to those who have questioned their absolute authority), said: "All the things they are teaching ignore the framework we have been developing all these many years."

I took notes wherever I could, as somehow I knew I would need them later. The things being said by the GB were just too blasphemous. Albert Schroeder, speaking to elders of the Bethel family on May 29, 1980 said:

"We serve not only Jehovah God but we are under our `mother.' Our ‘mother’ has the right to make rules and regulations for us... This book, entitled Branch Organization Procedure, contains 28 subjects; and its sub-sections involve regulations and administration. In it there are 1,177 policies and regulations... this is an improved, fine-tuned organization, and we are expected to follow its policies. If there are some who feel that they cannot subject themselves to the rules and regulations now in operation, such ones ought to be leaving and not be involved here in the further progressive work.

"Some have fallen away from the organization, NOT FROM THE BIBLE, saying there is no need for COMING UNDER LAW...This great program of organization procedure is gathering the things of heaven and earth."

Intimidation Tactics

While GB member Ray Franz was away on leave of absence, a special committee was established to extract confessions of his close friends and acquaintances, to determine everything he had said in private that could be used against him. For two weeks these committees interrogated Bethelites and recorded their confessions. Then Ray was suddenly called back to Bethel and made to listen to these tapes in the presence of the GB. Raymond Franz was forced to leave.

Others were subjected to long hours of intense interrogation as the "Watchtower committees" set up a series of ten "special questions" to ask any person suspected of talking about what was going on in the GB. Many were disfellowshipped on the basis of these questions alone. Many more left under pretenses just to escape without being disfellowshipped. The absurdity of it could only be tolerated by sarcasm; we made up our own list of “ten questions.” Secret books of graffiti and political cartoons were created and passed around to those who could be trusted. You could usually tell who was in the know—those who were clueless had no sense of humor, the rest of us were amused and amazed.

I remember a pivotal day in my life. I was walking around the pressroom saying to myself, “If this is really ‘God’s organization,’ then all this work and effort is worth it. If it isn’t, what am I doing here?” I would vote with my feet.

Some of the secret groups were told to stop unless they would use the Society's publications for reference. On April 30, 1980, Karl Klein of the GB stated to the whole family:

If you have a tendency towards ‘apostasy,’ get a hobby and keep yourself busy to keep your mind off of it. Stay away from deep Bible study to determine meanings of the scriptures.

Is he kidding? A tendency towards ‘apostasy?’ This was the Holy Bible! We were all excited to learn something the Christian church has known and taught openly for 2000 years, and they call it ‘apostasy?’

Another member of the GB, Lloyd Barry, said on May 29, 1980 in addressing the elders of the Bethel family:

When we talk about law, we talk about organization. With all our hearts we need to search after that law. Jehovah doesn't give individuals interpretation. We need a guide, and that is the ‘faithful and discreet slave.’ We should not be getting together in a clique to discuss views contrary to the ‘faithful and Discreet slave.’ We must recognize the source of our instruction. We must be like an ass, be humble, and stay in the manger; and we won't get any poison.

At this point I expected a Heil Hitler! It was so absurd. I was writing feverously to catch all the statements. One brother stood up and asked, “Should we require the brothers to take an oath of loyalty to the organization?” Bert Schroeder even balked at that one, it was so obviously Nazi-esque. I swallowed hard in disbelief.

I learned a lot about men and their power games from my time at Bethel. I learned that those who are seeking power will do anything to keep it, even sacrificing their common sense and the friendship of others. They will find ways to justify their actions through theological arguments. One thing should be clear if you study the history of the Watchtower Society: doctrine is irrelevant. It changes all the time, as the Governing Body rewrites their own history and rewrite themselves into the Bible, as if it was written to them and only them. You can study theology until you’re blue in the face. You can know the Bible word for word. But unless you understand how they manipulate it to their own ends, you will remain clueless as to how to counter them. They will laugh at you. If you learn to call their bluff and expose their methodology, they will not challenge you further. Like the Wizard of Oz caught performing behind the curtain, they will pull the fabric of deception back in place. Learn their techniques more than their theology.

Is ‘Apostasy’ the Issue?

As Bert Schroeder said, this whole matter is not an apostasy from the Bible, but from the organization. Sure, if you leave any religion over doctrine you could be considered an apostate from that religion, but not necessarily an apostate from the Bible. Many ex-Mormons and ex-Moonies are “apostates.” This is a smoke screen for the real issue, “Who really grasps the message of Christ?”

In the next part, I will finalize my last days in the Watchtower when I was secretly attending a local surfer’s church while a local elder in El Segundo, Calif.!!

This is going to sound real new-Christian preachy to some of you, but hey, this was 1982ish, so don't come down too hard on me. )

I just tend to put all I got into my work, but I've mellowed out (called "getting older").

I am not a fan of churches or institutions personally; more of a loner. Too many people to deal with.

If you are inclined to be a Christian, there ARE many very good churches. Ask my friends at WatchtowerWorld.org where is good to go.

I just delighted in finding the phony ones, as you will see. Hey, an exit-counselor gets his training this way!

Randy

My Story part 3:
My Return to Christianity: The Early Years

I left off where the apostasy had begun at the Brooklyn Bethel headquarters in 1979, and some of my friends had been asked to leave. Former Governing Body member Ray Franz left a few months before I did, forced out by the anger of several power-hungry autocrats. For the first time since their appointment as part of the elite Governing Body of Jehovah's Witnesses, the newer GB members would get the taste of power that they had been craving. They got their power shortly after Knorr’s death in 1977.

Was the Governing Body paranoid of losing their control due to the doctrinal questions of some Bethel family members in 1979? Perhaps, but I believe that they were not so much afraid or paranoid as they wanted to flex their muscles. This seemed obvious to me, because of their previous ploys for power, and their haughtiness and lack of shame in how they presented themselves. They acted like gloating hyenas just having made their kill. President Knorr was out of the picture, and they were now in charge. I had to get out of there! Any respect I had for these leaders was lost within a few weeks of listening to their morning diatribes to the Bethelites, attacking the so-called “apostates.”

Coming to the Bethel table in the morning was traumatic for two reasons. Number one, it was extremely depressing; like getting verbally abused by an alcoholic father. Number two, I often knew in advance (from my friend Tom Cabeen, close friend of Ray Franz) who was going to be kicked out or disfellowshipped. I could barely eat! I would just sit there trembling and looking around wondering if anyone suspected that I was an apostate. You see, although in my heart I knew that the way I felt about the Bible was right, I was still programmed not to go against the existing leadership, and it was kind of scary. This organization was all I knew! I had no intention of leaving Bethel, and I really liked my first five years there! What would I do now?

In the meantime, my summer vacation (1980) was coming up. While I was out in California riding my motorcycle, I sprained my leg. The doctor said I could not go back to work for a month. Things started clicking in my head. I remember how strongly I felt the moment I got on the plane to California—I did not want to go back to New York! Now I had a reason not to go back. I called Governing Body member Dan Sydlik on the phone and asked him if it was okay to leave Bethel without coming back there, because I could not come back to work for a while. I also gave a reason for my leaving: I needed to take care of my family. He said that would be fine, but “we will miss you.” I called up my Bethel roommate, Robert Sullivan, and asked him if he could ship my belongings out to California. He agreed.

I felt very relieved that I did not have to go back and face the “gestapo” at Bethel—not that they suspected me of anything yet—only a few people at Bethel knew how I felt. So I was back home in Cali, and much happier. I decided that I had to think about what I wanted to do, so I just read the Bible for a month by myself. This was the best thing that had happened to me yet—time alone in meditation and prayer. This meditation time would soon figure in to my new identity as a born again Christian.

Yet I felt that I still had to give the Watchtower Society a chance. I was programmed to believe there is no other church that could represent God. Besides, I did not want to be alone. I looked to the nearby kingdom hall in El Segundo and arranged to have my elder’s papers and field report records transferred to the new kingdom hall. I did not want to request to NOT be reappointed as an elder, because that would lead to suspicion as to why .

I was reappointed as an elder and went door-to-door with the rest, but only with the Bible, no Watchtower . I met a lot of nice Christians in El Segundo! My most memorableexperiencein that kingdom hall was this: I was teaching the book study in the hall on a Tuesday night, and we were out in the parking lot afterwards, and some "Jesus freaks" came by and started witnessing to me about the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ. I laughed and said, "Hey guys, I already know, it's cool." And we hustled off. Little did those Christians know what I was thinking.

What was my final defining moment that clinched my decision to leave the Witnesses? One day I saw an ad in the local paper about a church called Hope Chapel in Hermosa Beach. It was called "The People Place" and advertised a laid-back pastor teaching the love of Christ. I went to an evening service, and loved it so much! I was crying with unbelief, yet joy! I knew I would be back. After a few services I knew I had found my new home. These were my people. I grew up in the beach areas of So. California. I could worship the Lord Jesus Christ in my bare feet if I wanted to… and I did.

The thought of going back to a kingdom hall was now repulsive. It would be kind of like moving in back home to an abusive parent! So I decided to write a letter of resignation to the Governing Body members personally, and did so on January 22, 1981. I also sent a copy to the local body of elders in El Segundo. They responded by calling me to a committee meeting, but I wasn't going to go. I told them that they already had my letter. I went surfing on the day of their committee meeting, and they disfellowshipped me for apostasy. I couldn’t have been happier.

I was soon baptized in a pool at Hope Chapel as a witness of Jesus Christ. I had found my Lord after many years. I enjoyed many new friends in various churches in the area, and began studying early Christian history.

NEW THINGS

One doctrine that fascinated me when I first started going to church was the “deliverance movement.” I had already experienced the "spiritual gifts" (speaking in tongues, prophecy, etc.) with mixed feelings, but hey, I'll try anything once, so I had to see what was really going on.

We had a young woman in our church that was having serious emotional swings, and we thought maybe she needed to go to a deliverance session. Church counseling had not helped. So we took her to a downtown Los Angeles church that practiced deliverance, according to the teachings of Win Worley (author of Battling the Hosts of Hell: Diary of An Exorcist ).

A deacon in the church chased her up and down the aisles while trying to deliver her of demons, and the church kept up the gospel music and the elevated chorus. It was straight out of “Pass the Ammo” (If you haven’t seen this movie, you have got to rent it.)! Even the girl couldn't take the drama seriously. We left before they could grab her.

Then my sister’s friend, who was also an ex-Witness but now into Christian “deliverance,” wanted me to come to her church. Her pastor was a guy named Randy Broadhagen (I just searched him on the net and he has his own TV show now!). Anyway, I witnessed one of their “deliverances” incredulously, my theology screaming “No!” while I watched this demonic-looking face on a writhing body turn around at my very moment of my doubt and said, “What are you doubting?” I jumped backwards in surprise (another unexplainable moment of life like the one with the black cat and the “Truth” book incident (later on that). Randy Broadhagen had his theology down on this subject of deliverance within Christians. I rejected the whole thing as carnival deception, but sometimes you still wonder when the unusual occurs. I guess I really don’t have to understand the universe entirely after all.

Hope Venice

Once I attended a prayer session for the future of Hope Chapel and its outreach. The focus was on starting new churches. One young pastor by the name of Bob Mallord came out and asked me if I would accompany him as assistant pastor to start a new church in Venice, Calif.

Now Venice is a place that has many a burnout who are lost on drugs and alcohol, and not a few leftovers from the hippie generation. Bob wanted to start a halfway house for the homeless as well as the church (which we did). I decided to help out with the church for a year, because I'd felt the Lord was leading me to do so during the prayer meeting.

We started the church with about 40 people for our first service, and afterwards I went out with Bob and preached to the kids on the boardwalk. Sometimes we would buy some of them breakfast.

We held our Sunday services at a local school, and often these very same homeless people attended, as well as a few local families and quite a few singles.

Bethel Christian Fellowship

K____ was a very pretty girl who decided to come to our Venice church one day. She was going to a church called Bethel Christian fellowship, which caught my curiosity plus, I wanted to see more of her. One day I drove up to the church parking lot with my car, with the “XBETHEL” license plate (see cover). Pastor Craig joked that he thought I was some kind of heretic from the church, but I explained that I had been a Jehovah's Witness at their headquarters called “Bethel.”

Funny how much a custom license plate can draw out conversation . I like to stir up controversy, as you might have guessed. Well, I fell in love with K____, the smart beautiful young girl from Bethel, for about two years. We hung out a lot, but it was only a platonic relationship. I wanted more, but she ended up falling for a young man who was an “ex-gay.” I was miffed.

Nevertheless, I kept going to Bethel Christian Fellowship, because I liked Craig Johnson the pastor, as he had many natural gifts. He was a child prodigy, and could speak Hebrew and Greek fluently at the age of 25. He would preach barefoot with a half-opened shirt while quoting Hebrew Bible phrases as he spoke. We all learned a little Hebrew and Greek. Craig was a most lovable and usually humble person, unless defending the faith was involved, and then you had better know your subject well!

I learned a great deal from Craig Johnson that shaped my own theology. Having been to Israel several times as a tour guide, Craig often visited rabbinical schools and seminaries so as to better his understanding of Bible languages and times. The coup-de-gras of our friendship was in 1986 when eight of us from the church took a three-week trip to Israel, Egypt and Greece to study archaeology and Biblical culture. We took a boat down the Nile River and visited the Valley of Kings and the Valley of the Queens. We stood next to the sarcophagus inside the inner chamber of the Great Pyramid in Gizeh. We prayed at the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem, and even obtained entrance to the Wailing Wall tunnel, the closest access to the original Holy of Holies site. One of the rare privileges we had was to enter the Dome of the Rock in Jerusalem. I was thrilled to go down into the sacred prayer chamber underneath the Dome, where Muslim women regularly offered prayers up to Allah.

Five days were spent excavating the old city of Jerusalem. We traveled up north to several old synagogues from the first few centuries. Standing at Megiddo, the fame site of the "future Armageddon," we could understand so much more about Bible prophecy. This trip later aided me in composing my articles on subjects about the cross, Pharisaical theology, the Essenes and the Teacher of Righteousness, as well as subjects such as the immortality of the soul, hell, and the rise of the early Christian church.

Looking back, this church affected me more for the better than any fellowship in my life. For that, and for Craig Johnson, I am very grateful. I was also spending $100 a month on theology books, in my hunger to learn more. It has paid off in my thinking.

Hope Chapel West Manhattan

Meanwhile, home in California, another girl just started going to Hope Chapel in Venice. She was a stunt double for a famous actress and lived in a little house in Venice (Calif.). I talked her into taking long rides on my motorcycle up into the mountains and we ate pizza at Michelli’s. She had started attending a church that had a black woman pastor and a body of elderettes (no men) who sat in the front row during the service facing the audience. The foremost teaching seemed to be being "slain in the spirit" and the laying on of hands. They also taught mandatory tithing, which bothered me. I detected several manipulative ploys used by the pastor. Time for a special visit from the “churchbusters”!

Many in my little study group were former cult members, and were concerned about churches that might have cultic leadership issues. Always looking for ways to entertain ourselves and learn in the process, we developed a game to expose manipulative pastors. We attended the church in question with three couples to gauge the response of the pastor to various stimuli from the audience. It became the first of many disguised visits to numerous questionable churches. One couple in our group would feign total enthusiasm over the service, the second couple would seem indifferent, and the third would seem visibly upset. We took notes and recorded the service. Then we would go back to our study groups and talk about how the pastor responded to our three pairs of actors. I think D_____ got the point. She saw through the manipulation and took a liking to another local church. D____ dropped me when I made attempts to get closer to her.

Soon, our group began meeting at my house by the beach on Wednesday evenings. We often had 12 to 15 people, seated on folding chairs in my living room. It was like having church on the beach.

The main Hope Chapel in Hermosa Beach supported my ministry in principle (though not in funds) and appointed me as a licensed Foursquare minister. I could then funnel all funds from Bethel Ministries through Hope Chapel as a non-profit organization, and I could use their computer equipment. I bought a 1200 baud modem, a computer terminal and a IBM Selectric Typewriter, connected by phone to the mainframe computer at Hope Chapel a few miles away. I had them leave the computer on in the evening, and I could work slowly via modem, keeping a database and even flipping a switch on my local terminal to print out what I had typed. Hope Chapel also had a printing press that they allowed me to come in after hours and print my newsletter on. All that training in running a printing press in Brooklyn now paid off in my ministry! (To this day I still print this Journal myself, on a large laser printer in my room. All my work is done in-house.)

The main focus of Hope Chapel at that time was to start churches and outreaches. So Ralph Moore eventually left Hermosa Beach and started several churches on the Island of Hawaii, where he still is today. The new pastor, Zac Nazarian, often encouraged me to start my own church of ex-Witnesses since I was already licensed as a pastor. It did not seem like a good idea to me, as ex-Witnesses tend to have a lot of odd baggage and generally need normal people to fellowship with, but normal people we soon got and I started Hope Chapel West Manhattan Beach. We rented a property owner's building on Sunday evenings, and also met in my living room on Wednesday evenings. I was never paid by the church, but pastored voluntarily for three years.

During my earlier time at Bethel Christian Fellowship, I had been busy researching and writing on all the major doctrinal issues in the Bible that I could think as important, such as salvation, the trinity and soul, hell, the cross, and so on. It took several years, but I compiled quite a few articles and a book on the subjects (Refuting Jehovah’s Witnesses). This complemented my earlier phase in which I spent time exposing the errors of the Watchtower and their false prophecies, etc., documented in the book, Thus the Governing Body of Jehovah’s Witnesses (now called Thus Saith Jehovah’s Witnesses, since the Governing Body is playing less of a part in the whole picture nowadays).

Today I often write about psychological principles, freedom of speech, etc. but I am especially angered when I see people who are fragile and hurting and recovering get told they have to believe some pet doctrine to be whole. It snaps them right back into fear and dread mode! Wholeness is a state of mind, not a state of doctrine. I have been an exit-counselor, or more appropriately a thought-control consultant.

My Interaction with Other Ministries

As yet I have not told much of my “interfaith” stories, so I will share some of my experiences, starting from when I left Bethel in New York.

The first ex-Witness I contacted was Edmond Gruss (author of the first real apologetic against the ex-JWs by an ex-Witness, entitled Apostles of Denial—1970). After spending a day with Ed, he encouraged me to write about my experience at Bethel headquarters. I came home so inspired that I wrote the tract, “What Happened at the World Headquarters of Jehovah’s Witnesses In the Spring of 1980?” that night. This was the beginning of my ministry to Jehovah’s Witnesses. Pastor Ralph had 10,000 of these printed up for free for me to spread the word, and that I did. I sent them out to Christian ministries and people all over the world. Through that effort, I soon became friends with author Rob Bowman, the MacGregors, Bill and Joan Cetnar, Duane Magnani, the late Walter Martin, and pretty much all the major JW ministries. I became well-respected in the Christian community and have appeared prime-time on Trinity Broadcasting Network (TBN) as well as dozens of television ministry spots. I was invited to speak several times by radio talk show personality Rich Buehler, and have been featured on D. James Kennedy, Hank Hanegraaff (Christian Research Institute) and Spiritual Counterfeits Project. I have also been guest speaker at several Full-Gospel Businessmen's meetings. I can name many fine churches in my home town of Manhattan Beach.

I met Chuck Smith (pastor of Calvary Chapel of Costa Mesa and founder of the Calvary Chapel movement) and had actually went to one of his ocean baptisms a year before I became a Jehovah’s Witness. Now that I was out, I visited him, as he was also a friend of Bill Cetnar (a prominent ex-JW and former Bethelite). I brought a friend of mine who was in financial need to see Chuck personally one day, and Chuck whipped out his checkbook and wrote a check to Larry for $1000 on the spot, no questions asked. I have never seen another man do this for a stranger in my life.

Witnesses always bash the churches. I fell into that pattern as a JW, but I should have known better. Churches are made up of normal people, and each has its own personality, gifts and odd heresies (read Rev. chapters 1-3 regarding the variety of problems found in churches in the first century). I grew up a Baptist in my pre-teen years. The last church I went to was the Garden Grove Community Church, the first drive-in church in the world, with pastor Robert H. Schuller. Schuller later became founder of perhaps the world’s first megachurch, the Crystal Cathedral in Garden Grove, CA. Back in the 60s my mother worked as a secretary to Schuller, and she would drag me along in the car to the drive-in church (the Crystal Cathedral was not dedicated until 1980). I hated it, sitting in a car watching some white-robed pastor in a staged background, and I could hear him through speakerboxes perched in the car window. It was little better than sitting in a church to me. I had my reasons for not liking churches, and refused to go any more when I reached 13 years old.

Yet I really knew very little about churches and historical Christianity. It is no wonder that the Watchtower magazine once said of those who were “apostates”: “They say that it is sufficient to read the Bible exclusively, either alone or in small groups at home. But, strangely, through such 'Bible reading,' they have reverted right back to the apostate doctrines that commentaries by Christendom's clergy were teaching 100 years ago." (WT Aug 15 1981 p. 28-9) Modern churches are just like the early churches—same problems, same blessings. Among those blessings one can find a great deal of joy, faith, kindness and generosity. I found that the churches far outweigh Witnesses in terms of kindness and generosity, the marks of Jesus. Worship is not just a Biblical word; it is a joy in the spirit of the believer, a desire to be with God. Witnesses do not want to be with God, they want the paradise earth, and their whole way of life reflects this selfish concern. Where will we live in the New System? What will we eat? Will we have to bury the non-Witnesses after Jehovah destroys them? What will we do for work?

Baptism is a sign to the world that you have given up your former way of life and have given yourself over to the Lord Jesus Christ. It is not a sign of membership in any man-made organization. I have baptized many ex-Witnesses over the years, but never into a church.

Once Steven Hassan and I were hired by the late Michael Piller, former producer of Star Trek: The Next Generation (co-producer of 13 episodes, from 1989-1992) to get a relative out of the JWs. What a joy to have a part in the rescue of others from authoritarian religions!

Robert Sullivan and I baptize former Witnesses.

I first met Steven Hassan while attending a cult conference on “Satanism, Deception and Discernment” in Berkeley in the 80s. Years later, after working together on a few exit-counselings (most involving Jehovah’s Witnesses), I was getting pretty sharp at discerning the common traits of all cults, which are mostly sociological rather than doctrinal. Cults are groups which use common control tactics under the guise of something more benign. They create a deception designed to control others for their own purposes. That is a simple explanation of what a cult is, sort of like “a family gone bad.”

Hassan (author of Combatting Cult Mind Control and Releasing the Bonds) was instrumental in a big part of my own deprogramming from the cultic techniques of the cults. During exit-counselings, my goal became NOT to convert the person to Christianity (which I have always refused to do apart from the direction of the Holy Spirit), but to bring a person back to the point where they made wrong decisions regarding their beliefs and their future, as promoted by some cult leader, and then teaching them how to make good personal decisions based on the facts. Trying to lead a vulnerable person out of one religion into another without giving them the tools to lead their own life and make their own decisions is immoral, as far as I am concerned. I can’t see the God of the universe operating in such a manipulative way.

Yet, in nearly every case in which the person stayed for the intervention for three days or more, the person would eventually start asking me a lot of questions about what to believe about the Bible. At that point I couldn’t help but smile, as I knew what was coming. They were crying out for help. My notes were set aside, and I would be moved to open to some passage in the Bible such as John chapter three and start reading, often being choked up. I was not following any routine, but was just being obedient to the leanings of the Spirit in that moment. I knew what was coming! My work then became my joy, and I had a new brother or sister in Christ from that moment forward. There is no greater joy!

Public speaking did not come natural for me. Yet years in the Watchtower as an elder and speaking representative meant that I spoke to groups of 100 or more on the average of 3 times per week. I eventually learned to enjoy it and it became much easier. I have spoken to many church groups in the 80s and 90s regarding the Jehovah’s Witnesses. Starting in the late 80s we began holding ex-JW potlucks about once a year at Hope Chapel in Hermosa Beach, and would have about 70 in attendance, many of whom were still JWs but who wanted to see what we had to say. We filmed these sessions, which were typically a 45-minute lecture by myself followed by a question and answer period of about an hour. When a person can’t socialize with other ex-JWs, these offer the next best therapy in my opinion.

William Bowen